Unfiltered Minds

my story, the long version

Hi, I'm Steph

I'm autistic, I have ADHD & I'm building the life I used to think was out of reach. This is the long version.

Join AuDHD Unfiltered → Grab a freebie
Steph laughing on the floor of a sunny studio, in a pink headband and white jacket, holding her phone

pull up a chair

My story

  1. "She has so much potential"

    I always knew there was something different about me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. It felt like I was always on go but I just had no direction.

    Every school report said the same thing: Stephanie is so bright, she always has the answer, she just needs to concentrate more, she has so much potential. But at home I was making careless mistakes and being called lazy, moody and disorganised, and when they asked me to pick my GCSEs I didn't have a scooby what to do.

    How was I supposed to decide my life when I didn't even know who I was?

  2. Learning to perform

    At my first school I was "too big and boisterous", and at my next one I was too white for the Black kids and too black for the white ones. I dreaded break time because I didn't know what to do with myself, so I spent it in the library.

    Then one day I got fed up of feeling alone and started to study my classmates. I copied exactly what they liked and laughed at, until I became the loud, naughty class clown without even knowing that I'd just built my first mask. I tucked away my autism, and let my ADHD become my safe face.

  3. Diagnosed at 25

    I couldn't even separate those two sides of me, until I was diagnosed at 25. At first the ADHD diagnosis was just information that felt good to know. And then the anger and the frustration hit.

    • If only someone paid closer attention to me
    • How did no one notice?
    • I would be so much further along in life if I just knew why I was struggling so bad

  4. The promise

    At the end of 2023 I looked back at my life and realised I had nothing that was mine. I had a job that was okay but not fulfilling, a million and one failed business ideas and everyone around me seemed to have something that filled their cup, whilst I was just putting money in someone else's pocket.

    So I made myself a promise: I cannot end another year feeling like this. I started working in 12-week cycles instead of 12 months, broke my goals into teeny tiny daily steps and chose one thing to build for myself, and I showed up on TikTok every day. That one thing has now snowballed into 56k of you across my socials.

  5. Running on empty

    Now it wasn't a straight line. At all. I was in the office, at the gym before work, making content after it and socialising in between, all whilst (still unknowingly) autistic. I was maxing out my brain and never filling my cup.

    I went through burnout three times, and in May 2025 I looked at my life again and knew I couldn't keep doing this for a paycheck. Part of it was a decision. The other part was my body saying:

    I'm not going to function until you learn how to honour me first.

  6. Rebuilding after Burnout 3.0

    As horrible as it was, it was the best thing that ever happened to my brain, because it forced me to slow down & listen.

    I came off social media completely for a week or two and rewarded my brain for small, boring tasks instead. I re-centred myself in my faith and realised I was working for a purpose bigger than me. I learnt what actually motivates my brain, which is novelty, urgency, passion and challenge, and built my days around it. I made my bed every morning and got rid of as much clutter as possible, because mess takes up space in your head before anything else gets a chance to start overwhelming you.

    I was also going through a break-up at the time, so I really had no choice but to learn how to sit with uncomfortable feelings, and it's still the hardest thing I've done. But it taught me I can do hard things.

  7. Now

    I work fully remote, closely with founders, in a role I found by showing up for myself and giving a little bit of what I had every day. I'm also now in the second year of my psychology master's and aiming for a first class degree, I give talks, I make UGC and I'm building AuDHD Unfiltered, the community I wish I'd had years ago.

    I still have days where I'm exhausted and days where I'm anxious, but most of the time there's a peace I've never felt before, because I know I can get up and go again tomorrow. I know who I am, I know what I need and I'm not afraid to stand up for it.

    Steph sitting on the floor by her sofa, writing in a notebook next to her laptop

the things I'd tell you over a cuppa

What I believe

  • AuDHD isn't a trend, a superpower or a disease.

    I'll need systems to support me for the rest of my life. Nothing sexy about that.

  • You were never too much.

    You just needed a room built for who you already were.

  • You can do hard things.

    It might look different for you than for someone else, but it can be done.

  • Build something realistic.

    Overloading your brain with a million things isn't a you problem, it's a plan problem.

  • The effort is mine, the outcome isn't.

    That part I give to God.

  • Your systems are half the battle.

    Willpower runs out. A system built around how your brain actually works keeps going when you can't.

the why behind all of it

Nothing I do is just for me. Everything I do is for the glory of God and to show people like me what we can do when we learn to work with our brains, and that's what gets me up in the morning.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13 🎀

Steph in a dark denim jacket and jeans, holding a laptop in a bright room with tall windows all with an AuDHD brain

when I'm not on here

What I do

  • Creative strategistI make content & ads for brands, & help their teams build systems so they can create more with less.
  • UGC creatorEven more content, this time for brands. (Can you see a pattern here?)
  • Psychology master's studentSecond year, going for a first. Of course my dissertation is on neurodivergence.
  • Neurodivergent speakerI've spoken for Big Four companies (I can't say which) & most recently at BANDwidth by BAND.
BANDwidth event poster: Navigating Burnout with Stephanie Shaw most recent talkNavigating BurnoutBANDwidth by BAND, September 2026 Book me to speak →

rest is part of the plan

I take myself places now

The life I've built means I can travel often & take the breaks my brain actually needs. Usually it's just me, my phone & a lot of self-timer.

the important stuff

A few fun facts

  • Me & bacon are locked in forever.
  • I still sleep with two plushies called Avocado & Toast. Yes, they look exactly how they sound.
  • I'm at my most visibly autistic when I'm eating watermelon. I dance, I hum & it makes me so happy.
  • My cat Chanel is meant to be my emotional support. Really she's a little terror who stresses me out. I love her.
Chanel, a fluffy grey and white cat, asleep on Steph's lap in front of her laptop
Chanel playing nice (for once)

so, that's me

If any of this sounds like you, you'll fit right in.

AuDHD Unfiltered is open. Come & join us.

You don't need to be ready, you just need to be curious about the possibility of unlocking the best version of yourself.

Join AuDHD Unfiltered →